![]() Happiest Moment: Teaching Michael fake black slang Shout-out to Bob Vance (Vance Refrigeration), who helped Phyllis become one of Dunder Mifflin’s happiest employees. But the real reason Phyllis stands out is because she is the only person in the entire office to maintain a stable, healthy relationship throughout most of the first three seasons. Her only enemy in the office is Angela, who is also, tragically, her closest colleague on the Party Planning Committee. She accepts Michael’s wide-ranging insults with a quiet dignity, rarely rolling her eyes or tearing up. ![]() At nearly every Dunder Mifflin party, she can be seen in at least one background shot throwing down. Phyllis loves to dance, a signal that she’s able to find joy in even the bleakest office scenarios. Unhappiest Moment: Being trapped on the Party Planning Committee He’s a team player, a low-stress personality (even when he might have skin cancer!), and easily the happiest person on The Office. While others at Dunder Mifflin search for love or professional fulfillment, Kevin is content to joke around with Oscar and participate in whatever time-wasting stunt Jim puts on offer. He can often be found in an office confessional or background shot laughing in an adorable, high-pitched giggle. He likes stuffing large numbers of jelly beans in his mouth, gambling, and singing songs by the Police. Unhappiest Moment: When Michael locks him in his office with the shit-stained carpet Happiest Moment: Playing Phyllis’s wedding So here’s the entire Office cast, presented from happiest to most miserable. ![]() Professional/Relationship Failures (5 points)-When somebody gets dumped, gets fired, gets left behind on Beach Day (poor Toby), or admits that their life is largely devoid of meaning, it’s not a great look.Īfter calculating a Happiness Score and an Unhappiness Score, I divided each character’s Unhappiness Score by the total to get their Unhappiness Ratio. Violence (4 points)-This mostly incorporates physical violence, like when Roy tries to attack Jim, but can also include psychological violence, like when a flasher exposes himself to Phyllis in the Dunder Mifflin parking lot, or when Michael locks Kevin in a room with a smelly carpet. Yelling (2 points)-Stanley is The Office’s scariest yeller.Ĭrying (3 points)-Common activity of Michael Scott, Dwight Schrute, and Pam Beesly. Rolling Eyes (1 point)-The basic, passive-aggressive unit of dissatisfaction in any office environment. Making Out (4 points)-Usually makes people very happy, but no points will be awarded for kisses that were coerced, like Michael’s kissing of Oscar in “Gay Witch Hunt” or Jan’s attempt to force Michael into sex in “Cocktails.”Įxpressions of Love (5 points)-This includes not just Jim-Pam romantic theatrics, but also heartwarming moments when the Office crew shows they deeply care for one another, like when Michael attends Pam’s art show or when the Dunder Mifflin team cheers Michael on during the Dundies. ![]() Laughing (1 point)-Common activity of Michael Scott and Kevin Malone anathema to Angela Martin.Ĭamaraderie (2 points)-Includes high jinks like the Office Olympics, high fives, hugs, and flirting at the reception desk.ĭancing (3 points)-Doesn’t have to be as intense as Michael’s booze cruise moves to qualify. Characters earned points if they performed any of the measured activities once or more in a given episode. To find out, I developed a highly scientific formula to measure everyone’s happiest and unhappiest moments over time across the first three seasons. As I watched Pam ducking out for a regular cry or Michael verbally abusing Toby for the fifth time, though, I wondered: Which character is the most miserable of these generally unhappy souls? By the end of the series, the gang is almost literally singing kumbaya in the workspace that was once their 9-to-5 hell.īut the cringe-inducing cynicism of early Office remains a masochistic joy in its own way, perhaps easier to stomach now since all the characters’ happy endings are assured. Other characters also find romantic and professional happiness over time-even Michael Scott eventually finds the girl of his dreams. ![]() At the end of Season 3, Jim finally asks Pam out on a date, and they live more or less happily ever after for the next several seasons of the show. As they ping-ponged from being friends to spurned lovers to really awkward acquaintances, the show offered up wincing camera glances and teary confrontations as often as it did laughs. The black hole at the core of Scranton’s finest paper company was the broken relationship between Jim Halpert and Pam Beesly. The place might as well have been haunted. For three glorious seasons, The Office kept its characters in a state of exquisite misery. ![]()
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